future open wide

It’s all very tentative at this point – but I plan to be a full-time student again in a little over a year.  I always knew, as an undergraduate, that I would go back for a graduate degree at some point.  As far as what graduate degree I would obtain – it was a little unclear.  A law degree, a masters, a doctorate in…?  I flirted with several different majors before settling on political science at the end of my sophomore year.  First it was bio pre-med (HAHaaaaa) then nursing (well I won’t have to take SO many science classes that way….commence laughing, again.) then sociology (didn’t have a grasp on what it was exactly) then English (I love to read!) and finally – political science.  Phew.  Once I declared, it was all a whirlwind from there.  A prestigious internship program in Washington, DC proved to be the next step and ultimately a driving force in the next few years of my life.   I am proud of the path I chose, though I wasn’t sure where it would lead me in the future.

I took a job in public relations and communications right after graduation and cut off most ties with governmental studies and public policy.  The political junkie in me did not rest however – furiously reading the newspaper and every online political commentary site I could find and buying book after book on the war and foreign relations and the crisis in Africa, etc, ad nauseum. 

Admist a lot of big changes, I decided I wanted to go back to school.  And I wanted to study as a doctorate student.  I always knew I was never challenged enough at my undergrad institution – the program was not the most rigorous or seriously studied in the College of Liberal Arts.  I made the most of my classes, knowing that if I ever wanted to dig deeper, I would have to approach the next step in my education with more care and caution in choosing the program.

So here I am – beginning the year long process of studying for the GREs (and hating every single minute of it), deciding which term paper to edit and submit as my writing sample (probably my senior thesis on Shell Oil Group and their forage into the oil fields of the Niger region), drafting a personal statement (I want to be a poor doctorate student for five plus years because {dot, dot, dot} ) and most importantly – picking the institutions to submit applications.  This is where I am literally drowning in facts and figures – getting sick of researching and researching only to discover that I have no idea how to narrow it all down.   What am I looking for?

A strong program with professors who have experience in international and peace studies, post-conflict regions, and rebuilding third world governments, specifically African nations. 

Fully-funded programs who give the absolute best support to their doctorate students, so I don’t have to apply for grants year after year just to be able to keep researching and feed my face.

An area of the country that is LGBT friendly, clean, with enough to keep me entertained and a good coffee shop is a must.  Also affordable rent would be nice.  (This pretty much rules out Columbia and NYU)

The problem is, this criteria still doesn’t narrow my choices down enough.  I don’t want to (and can’t afford to) apply to more than five schools.  This whole process is making my head spin and leaving me wishing I had the ability and funds to hire a personal assistant to do all the research for me and tell me where to apply.  Whatever I do decide, I have come the conclusion that I need to committ myself to my choices and not second guess my decisions.  I have done this repeatedly in the past few years and it leads me question constantly the things I’ve done in the past and wonder where I’d be had I not made those choices.  It’s a poisonous path, one that I’d like to avoid altogether in this next chapter of my life.

So onward we go.  Destination {unknown}.